Invisibility

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

Lots of people say invisibility, but I would never wish for such a thing.

I recently met my friend for dinner.  We decided to meet at an outdoor plaza.  She was there before me and sitting on a bench, but keeping alert since her phone had died.  I walked toward her, but even as I was three feet away from her, she didn't move.  Even when I was looking right at her and she saw me approaching.  Finally, I said her name and she said, "Oh my gosh!  I didn't recognize you!"

I get this kind of thing on a regular basis.

We met up two months ago before this dinner.  That's not that long ago.

And then I remember that every time we see each other, I'm dolled up and the picture of femininity.  Usually a dress.  Eyes winged and sparkly.

That day, I didn't feel beautiful.  I felt hostile towards the world.  Wearing a sporty CHAMP shirt to challenge anyone to think otherwise of me.  My eyes smudged with black liner on the top and bottom.  Wearing my fuzzy Muppet cardigan, new Nikes, and a general IDGAF attitude.

Over dinner, she commented that I wore makeup.  She said I should always line my eyes (which I hardly do because it makes your eyes look smaller and I think makes me look quite vicious).

It's nice to go incognito like this sometimes.  I mean, to know that I have the option to.  I'm not purposely trying to deceive people.  But sometimes it's nice that when I don't feel smiley and bubbly, I can adjust my makeup so people get the hint.  Like a "Do Not Disturb" sign for your face.

But it turns out invisibility is not a cloak that I can be take on or off.  Because the times when I am most aware of this power is precisely when I am being overlooked.  I see you.  I'm trying to approach but you don't see me.

I'm Invisible Girl.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that invisibility is not really a superpower unless you can control when you want to be.  I'm invisible girl.  But it feels more like a curse.