Still Playing Dress Up

I would wear any / all of these

I really despise corporate office attire.  I vehemently dislike pants so I finally bought a work-appropriate skirt last month at WHITE HOUSE | BLACK MARKET for a killer sale price.  It's black.  It hits above the knee and flares out.  Oh no, I could never be comfortable in a pencil skirt.  For the interview, I put on the aforementioned skirt, popped on a discreet polka dot button down, and purposely wore basic accessories and no-fun adult makeup meant to slightly enhance my features but not draw attention to them.  I may dress the part.  But, honestly, I feel like a kid playing dress up.

"Hello, today I am grown up Sophie.  Don't I look mature and responsible?  I could be your bank teller or lawyer.  Hire me!"

But inside, I am thinking, "Don't I look smart?" and pretend I am Rachel McAdams.  Yes, today, I am not  Sophie.  I need a job and I'll be whoever you want me to be.  Because first impressions matter.

I find business dress code so constricting.  And I wonder, is it just me?  I have friends around my age who dress business casual 24/7.  No ripped jeans or loud accessories or funky heels.  They like  shopping at J. Crew, Banana Republic, etc.  I did have one job where we had uniforms, but I didn't mind that.  I kept things interesting by mixing up my earrings every single day to coordinate with my shoes.

Until recently, my mom thought I was tacky.  People might compliment individual components of my outfit.  Or say, I have an interesting way of dressing.  But stylish?  I have never been called stylish.  I think part of it is that I only buy things that I absolutely love.  Which means that I only think things are worth getting if it's unique.  Like $60 for a white button down?  I would never.  If it was a white button down with illustrated prints of tropical birds on it?  Maybe.  Which means my wardrobe is severely lacking in the boring, but necessary basics department.  So, I end up looking a little bit excessive sometimes.

There are some people who have their tried and true established personal style.  In general, I think mine would be anthropology chic.  At least, I hope it is.  But that isn't me everyday.  Some day, I might choose to dress as the art school drop out, the cutesy intern, or a straight up ragamuffin.  Maybe I'm too obsessed with personal expression.  Maybe it's related to this existential crisis I'm having.  These days, I fantasize about being a spy, because I could switch up my wardrobe and temporarily be someone else.  Give me a name and a backstory and I'll play Helen Park for you.  There have been many an instance where I run into someone I know and I figure I should say hi because it's the polite thing to do.  So, I put myself out there and say hello and they don't even recognize me.  Meaning, I could have avoided that awkward situation altogether if I had just kept my mouth shut.

I know that age generally refines your taste and narrows your wardrobe down, but it sort of saddens me that one would stop trying new things altogether.  It's because you know your body better and what would work and not work, I know.  All those years of questionable choices should teach you something, right?  I've rambled on long enough.  Do you play with fashion?  How would you or others describe your personal style?

You've heard the phrase vain as a peacock right?  Did you know that white peacocks exist?  Doesn't it look so majestic?!