An Ice Cream Analogy

I have a lot of single friends.  It angers me sometimes because I can understand why I'm single.  But my friends?  They are worth their bloody weight in gold.  It's like, "Fellas?  What are you waiting for?  Are you blind?!"

Anyways, when we hang out, as girls do, the conversation inevitably turns to the opposite gender.  And whether we've got any romantic prospects.  Because I don't have much relationship advice to give, I reassure my friends with an ice cream analogy.  It goes a little like this.

You know females who always have a boyfriend or a crowd of boys around them?  They are un-intimidating, smiley vanilla girls.  You pretty much know what you're getting and vanilla mixes well with almost anything.  Chocolate, cookies, birthday cake, apple pie, what-have-you.  Guys can be whatever dessert.  Heck, churro ice cream sandwiches are a thing these days.  The point is that guys can pick a vanilla girl up and basically add her as an accessory.  She won't steal your thunder.  She knows the drill and will probably accommodate whomever she's seeing.

And then, you've got me.  Pistachio ice cream.  Sure, there are people who like pistachio ice cream.  If you're a fan of pistachio, you're probably passionate about it too.   But the point is that there will always be more people who like vanilla than there are that enjoy pistachio.  To make things more difficult, even if you are of the party that thinks pistachio ice cream is great, it doesn't mean that it pairs well with everything.  It would clash or overpower certain flavors.  But, I tell my friends that God has a plan for each of us and that when we do meet our partner.  We'd be so delicious together.  Think fireworks of flavor in your mouth like in Ratatouille.

While I strongly believe in my ice cream analogy, lately, I've been feeling a little discouraged.  It feels like I'm sitting in my carton and people come into the store but fewer and fewer people are even sampling pistachio ice cream.  It's like they just look at me and think, "Ohhh.  That's pretty green.  Hmmm and it looks like she's a little nutty.  I don't think I'd be into that."

Which is fine if these boys were picking other awesome flavors.  But you know what flavor sells the most? Vanilla.  Seriously, some of us have been sitting in the display case with varying degrees of fullness for a while.  But vanilla?  She sells out so quickly.  She's scraped down and then another carton takes her place and she's empty before Strawberry Cheesecake or Rocky Road.

Recently, two of my friends experienced some rough patches regarding relationships.  In that, they didn't pan out.  A friend, whom I had shared this analogy with, then said something that put it all in perspective. She told me that it sounded like these guys had taken some pretty big samples of ice cream when they didn't intend on purchasing.  When they made gestures that would imply that they would buy not just a scoop, or even a double scoop, but a galllon.  Assholes.

Are you craving ice cream yet?  Do you want to expand on my convoluted ice cream analogy?  What ice cream flavor would you consider yourself?  My friend actually sent me an online quiz and I am supposedly mint chip.  Which is not bad at all because one of my favorite ice cream pairings is pistachio and mint chip. ;9

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