Sense and Seasons


you tasted like sunshine
like pennies on the tongue
rust
and regrets

You've Got Nothing To Prove

*  I received this book from
Blogging for Books for this review
I came upon this book at a very apt time in life.  Where I was feeling burnt out on Christianity.  Going to church every Sunday and even serving on multiple ministries.  But feeling tired all the time and knowing that there had to be more to life than this.  Guilt and shame and go, go, go!

Nothing to Prove by Jennie Allen was so refreshing to read.  She assures readers that we are NOT enough.  None of us.  And the blessed reassurance we get is that that is OKAY.  Because Jesus is enough.  More than enough to cover all of our sins and shortcomings.  I have a mentor who tells me repeatedly to bask in the goodness of God and quit worrying and overthinking.  To pursue joy and this book hit upon all these things.  Nothing to Prove is a great reminder that the point of Christianity is in Christ alone.  So you can stop trying so hard.

A Brief Glimpse from a Young Woman's Perspective

I lost a friend today.
It was very unfortunate.
At first it was the same as usual
but as we walked to your car
I realized you were a bit too eager to see me.

The usual back pat turned into a stroke
and I found myself frozen
but smiling at you all the same
because you know...
I didn't want to make things weird.

As I chatter to keep my anxiety from showing
you interrupt and ask me about my T-shirt
leering down my rib cage to my belly button.
"Jesus I sing for all that you've done for me,"
you mutter, while I wonder whether you care about that at all.

"Oh, so you go to church?" you ask
and I say, "Yes, I do!"
"That's good!" you say and stroke my back again.
My body tells me to run but I refrain.
I say bye and turn to walk away.

You grab my hand and say,
"How about a hug?"
Before I can reply, you lean in.
Head under mine. I stiffen
but let myself be held.
Chest to breast instead of the usual quick side brush.

"You are nice. You are good.
We help each other," you say smiling.
This time he lets me free
and drives off,
leaving me with the heebie jeebies.

Daily Painting

2016 passed with a whole lot of ruckus and a very little substance.

*  I received this book from Blogging for Books for review
I had big dreams that it was going to be the year that I was going to be more creative.  I jumped from a job in finance to one in stationery.  And then, I've been coasting on neutral since.  At least now I'm in the creative field.

I don't have enough confidence to be a writer yet so I've been reading a lot of books instead.  And for a couple months, I've been having the urge to try art again.  So, I read this book called Daily Painting.

Since I haven't found my own style yet, I was hoping to glean some creative inspiration to find my own signature.  Unfortunately, the medium this author works in was primarily oil.  And there were a lot of still lifes as examples, which is not really my cup of tea.  But her advice about getting out of creative ruts and just the effect of daily painting in her life was insightful, and it could apply to other creative fields like writing or whathaveyou.  So, the book hasn't pushed me enough to start painting daily but it is a good book to have on the bookshelf as a persistent reminder of how it is to be an artist.  I think once I buy myself a desk, I'll start painting.  Perhaps not daily but weekly.  At least, I hope.

Who Are You?

The question as of late is, "Where have you been!?"

I've been mostly at home or working, but always deep in thought.  As a refresher, here is me in alphabetical order.

Artistic
Bibliophile
Cautious
Dreamer
Elusive
Fashion-minded (because i wouldn't consider myself fashionable per se)
Grim
Holy
Introverted
Jovial (trying to be more of this)
Klassy (which is to say that my fashion choices are sometimes not)
Lovely
Mischievous
Napper
Overanalyzer
Pensive
Queer (as in a bit strange. not LGBT-LMNOP)
Rational
Sassy
Truthful
Unpopular
Volatile
Winsome
eXtra special
Yellow
Zags instead of Zips

Write one yourself!  I want to read if yours sounds as all over the place as mine does.  Try to not include synonyms and not change adjectives that may not sound that positive.  I think it's a great mental exercise!

Views

At lunch today, we played personality quizzes.

In a table full of peaceful and deep blues and greens, I chose yellow.  And described it as bright, warm, and playful.

While most everyone chose the water element, I chose fire.  For it renews, offers light, and is warm.

When told to imagine being in a white room by myself with no windows or door and no explanation, I said that I'd be curious.  Naturally, I'd wonder, "Why am I here?"  Then, I'd be excited because my mind immediately thought of the scene in The Matrix where columns rush past and disappear.  And you know something strange and life-altering will happen.  No one could see me in that place so I'd run around like a fool and sing until my throat hurt.  I'd assume no one would know where I was.  I'd feel peaceful for this reason and just ease into sleep along the edge of one of the walls.

What did this reveal about me?